Chapter 13 - 16

Chapter 13-
There are a couple ways that we can build our children up.  First we can focus on them individually.  Eye contact has helped me greatly with this.  Kindness will lead to repentance and faith.  I can lead by an example and say something nice to my husband every morning.  I have even started a little list of one nice thing about him I write down every morning.  This helps my focus to be on him as a person and not as the father to the three children that I am trying to train up in the way of the lord. This has helped to start to turn around the attitude in my marriage.  One gratitude at a time.

Chapter 14 -
By doing this everyday it really has begun to change my heart.  Not only towards my spouse but also towards myself.  Are we all being thankful for what we have right now?  Are we content in our blessings that we are given.  Are we so focused on our mess that we can not see the miracles?  I am reminded of the verse.  Where your treasure is, your heart will be also.  Can I find treasures in my mess and realize that this is where my heart should be?  Can I see that everything I really need, I have right now?
Chapter 15-
Peacemaking - It is so important for us to involve our children in the process.  So when we see conflict or the creation of conflict we can ask our children to help the other one make good decisions.
Team - Together everyone accomplishes more.
It is so easy for me to see this in my bible studies and social groups.  Why is it so hard to see this in my own family?  I strive for union, but at times I see division as a result.  I think I need to focus more on God being my team leader rather than myself.

Chapter 16-
This chapter on Honesty really helped me realize that I need to focus on the why instead of the what.  When she discusses the main two things of being honest it made me pause.  We need to seek authenticity and vulnerability in all things.  This is how we are an example of a christian.  When people see a peace that surpasses all understanding is when we are a true example of Christ.  I also see that we lie out of shame and fear.  If we realize that we need to trust Christ in all things we will see that we will have no reason for shame.

Parenting The Wholehearted Child - Chapter 10, 11, and 12

Chapter 10 ~

This was a wonderful week to establish the foundations of what we will use in our conflict resolution in our home.  Every time one of the children raise their voices we are referring to this list that is over our kitchen table.  The children have in turn have also loved using it on me.  I find that many times in the middle of a mommy's life I tend to get a little excited and I am not demonstrating these traits.  I love that the family as a whole has a list that we can all read but Maggie.  You can see that a mark system has also been put in place to keep track of the behavior and the punishments are 10 minutes in room per a mark at the end of the day.

Chapter 11~

The topic of respect made me realize how little I actually respect my children.  In the Bible it tells us to model behavior.  It is so hard for me in an uncontrolled environment to control myself.  I am being helped by realizing that it is more important for me to demonstrate the calmness from the Holy Spirit than my points in punishing.  This has been very freeing over the past couple of days.  I am also realizing I need my children to respect my space while I am getting things done in the house.

Chapter 12~

Patience......  I feel that a mom of three young children does not have any and should not be expected too.  But this is the entire opposite teaching of the entire Bible.  I mean every good story and parable in the Bible come from trials.  It is in his weakness that we find his strength.  Why am I always so fast to try to control other people?  Especially my children?  Why am I so fast to look at the wrong and try to fix fast when God wants to use it for his glory in a slow process.  I feel often times when I busy trying to fix, God is screaming "Let Go and Let  Me!"

Parenting The Whole Hearted Child - Chapter 8 and 9

Chapter 8 -
This really hit home for me today.  I love our church and we are so blessed my good teachings and also wonderful children's ministries.  Through my journey as a parent I have found that there is no real reason to recreate wheels.  So I love to join the church in their missions and this allows for my children to see the community effect on a much larger scale.   A couple ideas is participating in a food bank.  One afternoon I was at the end of my rope.  I remember that our church was doing a food drive.  So I popped them all in the car and we went to the dollar store.  Our church was also doing shoe boxes.  We cleared a total of $40 for food and toys.  The next Sunday we dropped of supplies and the following week this was posted on instagram.  We also have the availability to tour the food bank.  I added to the shoe box project by having us all watch the video from the Samaritan's Purse website.  I felt God helped me up in a time of need by serving others with my children instead of screaming at them.

Chapter 9 -
This really is an extension to Chapter 8-
I need to bring more of a Christ focus to Christmas.  I  loved the idea of the birthday cake for Jesus and also the nativity scavenger hunt.  We have been blessed to be able to sponsor a child for $20 a month and the rewards have been ten fold.

Parenting The Wholehearted Child - Chapters 5,6,7

Chapter 5 -
"He searches me and knows my heart." I think this is so important because as hard as our days get the easier it is to end in an emotional mess.  But I find that as long as I stick firm to the fact that he does know the desire of my heart to parent my children in a calm and christian way, I can take a deep breath and realize I can not do this without him.  There is just no way.  I love the concept of praying scriptures over our children.  Even just using the verses I have already printed and inserting the child's name in them helps a lot for direction in prayer life for others.  At dinner I think I am going to start with the "High, Low Game"  Have each child tell me the highlight of the day and the lowlight of the day and have us pray for them right then.

Chapter 6 -
"As I meditate on God's words, my courage increases, my heart softens, my guard comes down, and my trust grows."  This is huge because his words are the light to my path.  If I am not looking for the light and just fumbling around in the dark, I'm not so sure I am doing anyone any good!  I need to start my day with some light and make sure to read the word and spend some time in prayer.  I need to feed myself before I can feed others.  The end goal is for my children to see God's light in me and spread it to him.  I guess I need the light first!

Chapter 7 -
Ephesians 6:17 "The sword of the spirit, is the word of God"
I have spent some time looking on the web and was flooded with all kinds off free printables.  I am aiming for one a week and have them out.  We will see how this goes.

Phil 2:13 "Lord please work in me and give me the desire and power to please you."  This is huge for me daily.  Who am I pleasing?  Is it God or people.  Nine times out of ten it is people.  I find when I search my heart, I am fast to see that I am following my own desires and not his.  I am looking for gratification from people and not God.
Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful"
We have to have a confidence in who God made us and why, before we can look in the mirror and be pleased with what we see.  Are there improvements?  Of course, and our journey to the improvements can be the exact thing God uses to share his love with others.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you."
This is it!  He wants us to prosper.  I would have loved to have verses for my children.  I am going to really look through some journals to see what God gave me during their births.

Parenting the Wholehearted Child - chapter 2,3, &4

Chapter 2 -
".....my love for him was unfazed by his wrong actions"
I see this daily with my children, yet why am I so blind to see this in my relationship with the Lord?  No matter what wrong actions I make his love for me is unfazed. He may have to use his hand of obedience to get my thinking back in line, but he still loves me and knows the desires of my heart. If I can truly embrace this daily, I am sure that the fruits of the spirit could flow a little better through his grace that he gives me.  This would build up my confidence in doing the hard and new things that need to be done to change the patterns of behavior in my household.
"....obedience can change the heart."
I have found when I have had obedience in training for athletic goals, I tend to meet the over all goals if I stick with the training plan.  Why can I not view this in my pârenting patterns? Why do I tend to fly by the seat of my pants with my emotions and my children's? This book has already made me see the value in creating a parenting plan and an action plan for success.



Chapter 3-
".... But when his grace begins to transform our hearts, it also begins to transform our parenting. It's not about what we do, it is about what his grace does through us."
Sometimes humbling ourselves allows us to see gods greatest wonders.  If we are constantly looking to ourselves for strength and direction we will fall short of the glories that we have in store from him. By forgiving ourselves and others we are forgiven. So the more we live in this grace instead of just looking at it, the more we can really begin to feel the faith moving in us and around us.  This application can be the one thing that leads to our children actually seeing the spirit move in us.  When faced with trails do we look down, where we are, then look up for his guidance, and then look in front of us for his action plans and not our own.   I have had a bad problem on not pausing before reacting. He is a big surprise my reactions are often based on my feelings and not my faith.

Chapter 4-
This chapter really made me realize That I need to action plans on how to show my children the fruits of the spirit.  I can do this by starting the day with my gratitude jar and asking them what they are thankful for.  I can also start the day by reading my scripture verse allowed and including them in on what I am doing daily to seek God's spirit in my life.  I am going to make an action plan for the next week to address one of the fruits each night at dinner. These will be our topic at dinner.  Ps - this will hold me accountable to actually sit down myself.

Parenting The Wholehearted Child - Chapter 1

Please visit this you tube video and get an introduction from author and book.

http://youtu.be/VpLJuXbmy4s

"...the more focused we become on perfect parenting the worse it gets."
This really hit home for me. Since I am a mother of three young children I find the more I focus on all the small details the worse it seems to get. I find myself focusing on what they are wearing and what they are doing instead of who they are and who God wants them to be.  I find myself focused on the outside of parenting instead of focusing on what parenting I'm doing on their insides.

"...confession leads to the naked truth."
I really need to focus on confessing my faults to God so I can see the naked truth of my parenting. I have found that it is more me focused, than God focused. I find I am self seeking gratification in my parenting plans and action instead of his.  When I daily fail, I need to finally realize that this is the most important thing I am doing and I'm not really doing it that well.

"God doesn't want something from us, he wants us."
I want my children to want God in their lives. What am I constantly telling them when they do not see him in mine.  I am so excited about starting this journey of learning how I can insert activities, faith, and readings into our daily lives.  I'm also realizing that God is my parent and I am his wholehearted child! 😋